If I don’t check up on you I worry about you nonstop; but the last thing either of us actually need in our lives is one another.
I just want to know you’re doing well, that you’re okay.
I don’t even recognize who you are anymore, but that’s okay as long as you’re happy.
Please. Just be happy.
I feel like the only contribution I can make to that is to stay as far away from you as possible. It’s likely this is fact, not fiction (for the first time in years). As angry as I’ve been at you, with you, I hope you know that I mean it when I say nothing would make me happier than to hear that you’re doing well. && it terrifies me to think and feel the opposite is true.
But.. I also don’t think there is anything I can do that change that, or ever could have. Let me know if you disagree. Not that you’ll ever read this. Not that you’ll care if you do.
